today was neutral. i didn't feel much. i wore short sleeves and i think people could sense my apathy about my scars so they didn't ask any smart ass questions.

i slept from three until about a half hour ago. i hibernate. i shut off the badness. when i woke up i pulled out a sewing needle and threaded it through my scar tissue, just to see myself violated. just to hurt myself.

i was talking to this kid in class today. i really like him, actually. he's the one person in that school that's not an avid fan of cannibis. he's self-proclaimed manga and, according to him, hentai fan. he's like six-two but his voice cracks sometimes. it's so funny. he was looking at my answers in science and i had written the names of my medications in the blanks of a little quiz instead of xylem, phloem, and other stupid science crap. he was laughing. he's like, "wow, i'm only on conserta!" he's intelligent. like on my level. i didn't mean that to sound as fucking snooty as it did... ugh.