so i've basically come to the realization that i am basically gay. i mean, i might think the occasional guy is cute, but bicurious just isn't cutting it anymore... i dunno. i am very attracted to Percia. she's my best friend, but she's like... so much more than that. so much more. i love her. i don't know how i am gonna go about coming out. because i want to spend the rest of my life with another girl. specifically, Percia. but i guess i'll just tell people i'm bi for now. bisexuality is ever-so-chic.

thinking about it, dwelling on it, i guess i am okay with viewing myself as a lesbian. because... well, i dunno. this is all very strange to me. it's not like i could come out to my parents now anyway. maybe eventually i could tell my mother. but that would be unfair. she's very close to my father and it would be a heavy burden on her to keep that kind of secret from him.

so... i'm gay. this is not a new development. i guess i've just been denying it for a really long time. i mean, i've always been a feminist and my first kiss was with a girl. and i've recently decided that i am pro-choice. i mean, i am against late-term abortion, but... it's a woman's choice; her right to choose.

this is a lot to think about. i'm going to stay up late and watch Inuyasha and drink diet coke. the thing is, when i think about a life with Percia, i feel happy. and that is very valuble to me.