i'm depressed now that christmas is over, and now that it's over i'm not sure where any vague sense of hope is going to come from.

thank you for calling my dad and talking so frankly to him about the whole school situation. he isn't upset at you, but not that you would care. he was really glad that you were helping get things moving again, and that you were so angry at that jennifer blossey bitch who most unfortunately runs this whole ridiculous show. my mom was was girlishly happy that you were swearing about her. it really helped them.

every time i think about the whole school situation i get sick to my stomach. i can't believe that they aren't cooperating to this degree. they really must believe that i am undeserving of the scant attention i have been receiving. it makes me really sad. it makes me question myself. i don't know what i am going to do.

i am definitely not going back to school after Christmas break is over. that would produce a breakdown rivaling the one i had when Dr. Allen recently took me off the risperdol because it had stopped my periods. it was really bad. i went from relatively stable to suicidal in like, 30 minutes. my mom gave me some risperdol after my 3 hours of helpless sobbing and exclaimed, "you need this medication amanda, i don't care if you ever have a period again!"
that was like a week ago.

i hope that by some small chance, this all works out. i am very worried. really depressed. i dunno. sorry to take up your time. have a happy new year.