9:52 a.m. --- unfulfilled. --- 2004-10-26

last night i went to Kim's calling hours with my family. hundreds of people were there. we stood in line for two hours waiting to give our condolences to her family. as the line moved, we saw collages of her childhood pictures and much more recent pictures of her laughing and smiling with her friends, with her family, with her little brother Kevin. Kevin came over and hugged our family; he seemed okay. but i know once the business of this dies down, it's going to hit him hard that he's lost his sister forever.
i was very sad the whole time, but i talked to kim's close friends who were there. they were laughing and joking. i don't understand grief. i really don't. actually i kept it together, until the very end, when i was determined to talk steadily with her family and look at Kim one last time. but as soon as they mentioned how much they had been crying to my mother, i started this sobbing, this sniffling. and before i knew it, i was hugging her grandma and her dad and crying silently. my mom led me away before i could say goodbye and apologize to kim. i feel so...

Back -- Next