on thursday, around noon, Sara's friend Joe Marzo went off the road, while going 70 in a 35 mph zone, and hit two trees. he survived and is currently in a coma, while the other three girls died instantly. in life, they were Janay Davis, whom i vaguely knew, Brittany Bowers, who was nice to me even though we weren't friends, and Kimberly Dix, with whom my friendship had been deteriorating because i wasn't going to school.

yesterday, i said tearfully to my mother that i would have died in their place. and i meant every word. but who understands this kind of thing anyway? they were beautful girls, so full of life and... here i am, still alive, the(ex)suicidal girl, the girl who spent time in an Institution.

and while it pains me to admit it, Kim meant more to me in death than she did in life, but i bet it's that way for a lot of people who didn't know these girls. it's horrible of me to say that, but... i feel so guilty about it.

today i went to church with my family. Kim's little brother was there. actually, he and my brother are best friends. anyway, after church we took Kevin (Kim's little brother) to the Old Country Buffet. He didn't cry or anything. he seemed a lot stronger than i felt. but the fact is Kim is gone and i will never see her again. i can only hope she's in a better place now, and that she knew how many people loved her.