no one could ever love a hideous pity-whore like myself. i stared at my ceiling for two hours, thinking of all the people who dislike me, thinking of all the times my heart has broken, thinking of my death and how to kill myself.

there's really no way out for me. so what if my therapist says she cares about me and my mother says she loves me? so what if they might choose a school program for me any day? i'm in too much pain and i just can't wait and longer. if i can find the nerve, this will be my last night alive. i haven't said enough. i am not a coward for killing myself. i am not! i just can't take this anymore. so what: maybe i am a coward. a worthless, friendless, sniveling bitch! oh, God, if you are there, please help me.

there's no way i can go on like this. the whole damn world is so busy busy busy and they don't give a damn about some depressed chick who can't make up her mind about whether or not she wants to die.

so, maybe, goodbye.