i haven't written in three days. i'm tempted to go in my room and cut myself to pieces, and i just might later. but not now. now i'm forcing myself to stay awake, not entranced and saddened by the sight of my own blood. blah blah blah. melodrama... please. but that's still how i feel.
i'm angry, i guess... but i feel vulnerable and scared. i want to call up the former best friend and say, 'fuck the past, come over and we'll watch movies. and eat candy. bring your cds.' i miss what i had with her. i hate her, but i miss her so badly sometimes.
